I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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