Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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