omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Only a mothe r could love this liver
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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