my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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