"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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