Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
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I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
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And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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