So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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