Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize