my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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