please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize