remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
false alarm, still single
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize