im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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