Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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