Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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