somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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