The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize