i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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