bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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