i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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