...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
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Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
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In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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