i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize