I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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