bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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