Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize