but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
There's always time for handjobs
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I got inside last night via doggy door
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize