i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize