jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize