o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize