My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
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I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
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We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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