I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize