mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize