But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Do vagina's smell?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
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after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
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You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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