It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
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DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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