I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize