Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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