I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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