just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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