yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
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There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
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I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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