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If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
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