I'm lost and stupid without you.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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