I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize