I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
bring money and cleavage
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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