i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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