Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
not ubering you a puppy
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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