I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
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