U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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