i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize