she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
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