I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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