so explain again why im purple
no
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
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Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
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But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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